Have you ever noticed that whenever a group of women get together,

it is only a matter of time before they start commiserating about their weight?

It’s a female bonding experience.

We’ve been socialized to do it from a very young age.

Also, we are socialized to believe that it means everything to be “thin”.

Thin means perfect.

But here’s the catch…you are never supposed to be too perfect,

because that means you are “too good” and cannot be part of the tribe of women anymore.


We are all trying to “get there”

but as soon as we do achieve our goal,

we get one week of being congratulated,

then the pressure starts to build,

and we are compelled to manufacture a flaw.

And the easiest thing to do, is to regain the weight.

For most of us, the fear of being “out of the tribe” is worse than battling the bulge that droops over our waistband.

And when I say the pressure starts to build, I mean the voices in your head.

Telling you what others are thinking or saying about you.

The ones that say,

“oh now that she’s thin she has such a big head”

“she thinks she is better than us”

“she’s such a bitch”

“It’s all about her now, I am just sick of it”

But all those sentences are just the thoughts in your head.

Even if you actually heard any of those words said out loud,

What are you making it mean?

And here is another secret

for those of you with more than a few pounds to lose…

The skinniest, most perfect female you will meet

Will generally have her own lament

Of how she has #5 pounds to lose,

Or she has a fatal figure flaw.

You stare open mouthed

Wishing you could trade places with her

Figuratively speaking (pun intended).

But she is also obligated to bemoan her


Or she will not be able to engage during the ritual bonding

Of her female tribe.

So, the first thing I think is let’s get the f**K

Rid of this stupid ritual.

Once that is done

How do we want to think about ourselves?

Can we Love what is Perfect about ourselves?

And our Friends??

Let’s all together decide on a new ritual

A Celebratory Ritual.

Let’s include everyone.

Because all of us really want to be lifted up,

And still be part of the tribe.

And the best place to start is with yourself.

What do you love (really LOVE) About yourself?

It’s okay.

Go ahead and think about it.

The world won’t explode.

And after you have savored that

Think of another thing.

Now go share this crazy idea with a group of your best friends.

The sooner we get started the better off we will be.

Brought to you by your loving friend,


P.S I love it when you smile all the way up to your eyes,

The way you just did.