SO I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO THIS GREAT PODCAST CALLED “MORE MONEY” (‘CUZ LET’S FACE IT…MORE MONEY WOULD BE AWESOME, RIGHT?)
It’s by this gal, Cassie Parks who I stumbled across while I was listening to another great podcast, “Not Your Average Runner” by my friend Jill Angie (ya, ya..I’m a podcast junkie).
Anyway, Cassie talks about becoming your future self, which is a concept that totally applies to everything. I love the idea, and of course I want it all, plus I had the day off, so I decided to spend today acting like my future self…the one who is naturally at her ideal weight, and also has a successful business.
Question: “It’s a glorious morning in Western Washington, what would my future self be doing?”
Answer: “Going for a lovely walk with my dog at a local park, enjoying this gorgeous late summer day.”
Best part… feeling the freedom to do that. Enjoying the spectacular surroundings. Breathing in the abundant scenery and scents. Then out of the blue along comes a friend with her dog. We got to exchange pleasantries. That was nice. Ooo I’m liking this future self life.
A bit further on, another friend and her dog. We even got to sit and relax and visit as neither of us were in a hurry (my future self has plenty of time for friends).
AND SHE GOT ME THINKING; WHAT DO WOMEN OUR AGE (LATE 50’S) REALLY WANT IN LIFE?
We want our health. Financial freedom. A sense of self-reliance.
We got to talking some more and she mentioned how she’d really like to de-clutter her life, but it was all so overwhelming she didn’t know where to start, so instead she was doing nothing.
That’s when it hit me, we don’t just want to lose physical weight (generally speaking that’s almost universal among women…even thin women…) we also want to lose the heaviness of all the stuff we have weighing us down.
SHE SAID THE WORDS THAT MADE MY HEAD EXPLODE, “WELL YOU KNOW, MY PARENTS WENT THROUGH THE DEPRESSION SO I JUST KIND OF NATURALLY HANG ON TO STUFF.”
- It’s sentimental
- It was a gift
- I never know when I might need it again
- My children gave it to me
- It’s been passed down in my family for generations.
It’s not even like she herself (or any of us for that matter) went through the depression, but we’re still carrying that sense of lack!
No one asked us to…we just do it because they did. How silly is that?
She talked about all the sentences in her head that kept her stuck.
The ones that told her she was lazy if she wasn’t working at something. Or the ones that shamed her for being unable to get rid of the clutter. The ones that guilt tripped her into keeping a gift from a beloved niece that she made when she was in middle school (she’s a grown adult now).
And isn’t that exactly the crux of the problem?
The sentences in our heads.
WE’VE BEEN HEARING THEM FOR SO FREAKING LONG THAT WE’VE COME TO BELIEVE THAT THEY’RE TRUE. (TIP: THEY’RE NOT).
I pointed out that she’d been dutifully carrying the depression mentality for over 50 years. Since thoughts are optional she could opt to give up the thought as easily as keeping it. She could change her mind and choose to live a lighter life. One with less clutter and stuff (and crazy sentences!).
We sat on that bench for a while longer and talked about one specific thing she was holding on to, a gift.
She’d held onto it for years, even as it became increasingly worn out. She felt obligated to the gift (which I pretty sure was not the intention of the giver). She wanted to get rid of it, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
We chatted for awhile about the gift. The person who gave it to her. The history.
After a while she was able to come up with a new sentence about the gift, a sentence that felt totally believable. It freed her up to keep the memory and the sweetness of the gift without having to physically possess it any longer.
SHE WAS AMAZED THAT IN THE SPACE OF 20 MINUTES SHE COULD GET TO A PLACE WHERE SHE COULD HAVE A NEW THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAD BEEN TRIPPING HER UP FOR YEARS.
Sometimes you just need to talk with someone who can see your situation from the outside, a different perspective.
If your future self wants to live in a clutter free home (for instance), with a few beautiful things chosen intentionally by you, or even saved intentionally by you, you can have that.
It may take 6 months of putting small amounts of energy toward that purpose.
An hour here to clear out the junk drawer. 2 hours there to clear out a cluttered corner. 30 minutes to clean out your sock drawer.
LITTLE BY LITTLE THE WEIGHT COMES OFF, AND YOU START TO FEEL LIGHTER. FREER.
And as your house of clutter starts to empty and transform into the vision of your future self’s home, other bits of heaviness start to fall away as well.
Maybe it is physical weight, maybe it is the mental weight of worry and anxiety.
And that was my giant epiphany, that when we tell ourselves that we will be happier at our “goal weight”, it’s not always about the physical weight, it’s so much more.
So, I challenge you…who is your future self? How does she behave? Where does she shop? What does she wear? What does she think?
What does her home look like?
Is she still commiserating with her friends about having to lose weight? or has she moved on?
START BEING THAT NEW YOU, NOW.
It takes practice. It’s like a muscle, you have to work at it. But oh my, what a spectacular pay-off.
Here’s the thing, you don’t even have to know the answers to the question, who is your future self, your vision will evolve over time.
You just have to get started.
PRACTICE AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT…IT DOES!
And if you need someone to help you get started, let’s chat.
Turns out my future self enjoys a glass of wine (or cup of coffee…or just a cool glass of water) and visiting with a new friend, even if it’s over the phone or internet.
Click HERE if you’d like to spend 20 minutes getting yourself started on being your future you.